Scams & Shadiness

Why are there so many shady people in this world? And I mean, mindless shadiness. Where there's no benefit to the shady person to be shady but he's shady anyway. It's worse than the law of the jungle - eat or be eaten - because even this simple axiom has the benefit of life preservation.

I hate to rag on Pakistanis in particular, but this is one قوم that will choose the illegal way to do something even when the legal way is just as convenient. I have been told ہم کاغذات بنوادینگے and ان کو کیا معلوم and other such nonsense so many times that I've lost tolerance for it. It's like people don't understand that I'm not going to lose my license just because they're too stupid to understand what I'm telling them.

I seen a social security card with the ink spelling "Valid for DHS work authorization only" literally scraped off the blue paper (apparently some Nigerian guy in Prince George's county performs this service for the modest fee of $300). What's the point in doing this? You're illegal anyway. You got no visa, no status, just a doctored SS card. Your old SS card would have been fine to work with. You get no added benefit by doctoring it. Brilliant!

Another time I seen a guy with an arrival/departure card with a date of departure of 3 months before (because he had "friends"). Then he tells me I'm gonna go get a new stamp on my passport from my friends and I'll be back to see you in 2 weeks and you can file for my visa. Nope!

Once a couple comes in to my office saying they wanted to get married and the husband wanted to sponsor the wife for a green card, and my secretary asks the "husband" what his "wife's" name is, since she apparently didn't speak English, and the "husband" asks her, in English, "What's your name?" Come on!

And these people are so pushy, they try so hard to persuade me to further their shady enterprises. But I always remember the example of Manlin Chee, a Greensboro immigration lawyer - and strong supporter of the Muslim community - whose career was cut short by an FBI sting operation in which two undercover agents threw lots of money and sob stories to Ms. Chee to persuade her to file fake marriage-based green card cases. Now personally, if a Muslim guy comes in and throws me a $20,000 retainer for a job that's worth $2,000 max, I will know something is wrong, cos our boys never like to pay their lawyers (but that's a separate blog entry altogether) but - in the end, Ms. Chee fell for it, and the agents were wired, and they dismantled her career in just a few months.

So I try to use my best judgment to stay away from shady people, but let me be the first to tell you, a Muslim lawyer with a largely Muslim clientele is hard pressed to avoid shadiness, and I think that's pathetic.

نفاق کی حد

جب میں كالج میں پڑھتا تھا توآخری سال میں ایک سیمینار کلاس میں بیٹھا. یہ کلاس چین کی جدید تاریخ کے بارے میں تھی. استاد صاحب حالانکہ امریکی تھے مگر چین میں تقریبأ چالیس سال رھے اور وہ واحد امریکی تھے جن کو چین کی اشتمالی پارٹی میں داخل ہونے کی اجازت دی گئي. ان چالیس سالوں میں سے سولہ سال قےد میں گزارے. مجرم نہ تھے مگر سیاسی وجوہات تھے. چینی صدر ماؤ زے دنگ کا یہ فلسفا تھا کہ معاشرے میں دو قسم کے یعنی طبقے ہیں ایک فرشتوں کا اور ایک شیطانوں کا. شےطانی طبقہ چھوٹا اور فرشتوں کا بڑا. مگر پر امن اور پر سکون معاشرہ بنانے کے لۓ چاہے کچھ بھی ہو شیطانی طبقے کا تردد کرنا ضروری ہے. اس بنا پر نہ جانے کتنے معصوم اور بے گناہ پیٹے گۓ، مارے گۓ. مفرد کے حقوق اس قدر محدود تھے کہ جس کو بھی “کلاس اینیمی” کا الزام لگایا بس سمجھ لو کہ اس شخص کی آزادی بلکہ زندگی ختم. ثبوت کی کیا ضرورت یہ تو معاشرے کی بہتری کے لۓ ہے.

ہمارے استاد صاحب کو کلاس اینیمی ڈھونڈھنے کی ذمہ داری دی گئي تھی. مشکوک لوگوں کا ایک فائل بنایا گیا. اس فائل میں ہر طرح کے نوٹ لکھے ہوۓ تھے کہ اس شخص نے ایک بار اپنے دوست سے حکومت کے خلاف یہ کہا یا برطانوی یا امریکی ادب میں دلچسپی ہے وغیرہ. اگر فیصلہ کیا گیا کہ یہ شخص ایک کلاس اینیمی ہے تو بس اس کو اپنی زندگی سے چھین کربتایا گیا کہ سب کے سامنے اپنے ”جرائم“ ایڈمٹ کرے نہیں تو جیل میں پھینک دینگے یا مانچوریا بھیج دینگے اور تم وہاں سالوں تک کھیتوں میں کام کروگے. آجکل چین کی اشتمالی حکومت کو امریکہ الزام لگاتا ہے کہ انسانی حقوق کو ریسپیکٹ نہیں کرتے.

نفاق کی حد ہو گئي، نہ ؟

Issa aka baby jesus

My puttar, Issa, sometimes he reminds me of myself so much it amazes me...and not just because everyone says he looks like my "carbon copy" or that he's my "Mini Me." It's little things like concentrating hard on eating his food when he's hungry, laughing when he farts, loving the sound of drums, and, sadly, being engrossed in a book when everyone else is watching the Super Bowl (at least that's how I used to be...)

I do hope my boy learns to ball better than his daddy but when you see the same interests and idiosyncrasies in your kid as you know you have yourself, it strikes you. Guess it's another sign from Allah. Funny, cos you can actually learn about yourself by watching your kid. Of course it's not exactly the same, and you can't assume they're the same as you - but it's still kinda cool. Wonder if my dad ever felt the same thing.

Movie Lines

You know some movies you grew up watching - over and over, in my case - that have lines that you learn to appreciate when you get a little older?

I suppose it would be better for life experiences to remind you of an ayah rather than an actor but hey, we Amreekan Muslims - actually most Muslims today - are educated backwards - we do all the secular stuff first and then maybe try to understand the Qur'an, instead of learning the Qur'an first so that the rest of your secular education can be Qur'anicized. But I digress.

The movie line that keeps crossing my mind is from the Karate Kid, when Mr. Miyagi teaches Daniel-san that "Whole life have balance," and "This not just karate lesson. Lesson for whole life." When I was a kid watching this I couldn't appreciate the meaning of the word "balance." But now, I got a legal practice, a bivi, and a baccha. I try to work out semi-regularly to get more energy so I can do more in less time, but that causes friction with family time, and last night I went home to eat dinner and then went out again around 9:30 to work out and oddly enough I decided I needed to stop by my office and before I knew it it was about 1:15 am. Last week I worked till 11 pm two nights and 10 pm another night, and really haven't been home before 8:30/9 in over a month.

So last night as I sat staring at a writ of mandamus I intend to file - (suing the government is so much fun, and a great activity in the wee hours of the morning!) - of all things to come cruising out of my mind - I see Mr. Miyagi instructing Daniel-san who is trying to keep his balance standing on a rowboat's stern doing kata - that "Whole life have balance."

I get it now.